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Apr. 22nd, 2009

2nd tooth!

Ascari is laying in her cot blowing raspberries and laughing every so often. It must feel funny.

She sprouted a new tooth a couple of days ago (9 and half months old). Now she's got 2 bottom ones.
It was pretty much the same deal getting this one as the last. Really pink cheeks, terrible rash on her vagay, and waking up in the middle of the night screaming.
It only took about 2 days though and now she's fine.. although she still has a terrible nappy rash.

Nappy changing time has started to get really gross and annoying. She's figured out that she can reach down there so every time I take her nappy off she starts touching and scratching herself. It's a big gross mess when she's done a massive poop. I have to juggle a million things and try to either keep her from touching herself or keep her for putting her fingers in her mouth after she has touched the poop. Oh and she's also figured out how undo her nappy (only one side though, thank god).

I haven't weighed myself lately, but I hope I've lost more. I haven't been exercising as much as I should be.. I'll start again soon. But I have been focusing on my diet really well.

Apr. 15th, 2009

Lost 4 kg

I've lost 4 kilos!
This calorie count site is great.
I've been counting calories and exercising for 10 days and I've already lost 4 kg.
I know it's probably only water weight, but still! I'm stoked!

Apr. 12th, 2009


I went cycling for 40 mins today, did 15 mins on the exercise bike, and 10 mins on the treadmill.

About 375 calories all up.

I feel good.

Eating is hard...

I'm really struggling to eat 1400 calories a day.
Yesterday it got to dinner time and I still had 600 to eat.. it was horrible.. I had to have 2 dinners.
I thought my problem was that I ate too much, but it turns out it wasn't. Before this diet I was eating barely anything and I didn't even realize.
I worked out that if I'm going to fit all my calories in, I have to eat every 2 hours. Breakfast, lunch and tea I'm going to have around 300 calories and in between snacks I have to have 200. It's soo hard! I'm not hungry every 2 hours and I have to force myself to eat. Plus 200 calories for snacks is alot! For the past few months I was trying to eat low calorie food so now everything we have in the house is low calories.. so to have a 200 calorie snack I have to eat half the fucking fridge.
And I feel so full the whole day..

Who knew eating a normal about of calories would be so hard...
I totally hope this pays off.

Urgh.. I just ate at 1.30 and now I have to eat another 200 calories... grr...

Apr. 11th, 2009

Bike ride

Daniel, Ascari and I just got back from an hour and 15 minute bicycle ride.
I feel great.
We finally got Ascari's baby bike seat thingy connected to Dan's bike so we could all ride together every night.
I'm really getting into this health and fitness thing. And I feel heaps better already.

Apr. 10th, 2009

Bean salad

I've been on this diet for about 5 days so far and it's already getting hard.
I just cant be bothered exercising.
Ahh.. I wish I didn't always give up so easily.

I've still been doing good with the eating though.
It's been tough, but I've stuck to it.

I made a yummy bean and chicken salad today for lunch.

Here's how I made it if anyone's interested:

Chicken and 3 Bean Salad

One 420g can of 3 Bean Mix.
One breast fillet of chicken.
One tomato.
Half a cucumber.
Pinch of pepper.
One tablespoon mayonnaise.

- Cook chicken in frying pan.
- Chop everything up and add all ingredients together and toss.

Enjoy.. it's very yummy. Daniel liked it even though it was healthy :D

Apr. 9th, 2009

Started diet.

Finally got Ascari down for a nap.
It took ages. Poor thing finds it really hard sometimes.

I've started on a healthy diet about a week ago with a website that counts my calories for me and tells me how much to exercise.
I even found a weight-loss buddy, so we're going to try and help me other out with tips and stuff.
I've been exercising more during the day and eating more (I wasn't eating not enough before.. my body was starving) and doing lots of Pilates.
I feel pretty good.
I think I need to see the doctor about some kind of energy pills or something again. I just never have any energy.

Anyway, I've gotta buy scales soon when we have the money so I can keep track of my weight.

Apr. 8th, 2009


So last night I was really depressed. I had one of those moments when you stand back and take a long hard look at your life, and everything that you don't like about comes crashing at you at once, which makes you start thinking if things will ever get better or change.

I suppose it's just a build up of things that have been happening lately. Really small silly things, that always seem to take a larger affect on me.

Our "friends", that we were going to be getting a house with in a couple months time, sent me an email about 2 weeks ago, saying 'we got evicted.. going into crisis housing.. we're still totally up for getting a place with you guys... we'll try and contact you soon...' (in a nutshell).
Well, the weeks went by and Daniel and started freaking out because they hadn't called us and we only have a matter of weeks before our lease is up here, so we really needed to have started looking and applying by now (especially considering that we are only 18 and 20 and NOBODY likes renting to teens.. it took us my whole pregnancy and about 12 rejections before we got this place, which was merely because our real estate agent/landlord are Asian and nobody else would want this dump that we're in).
Both their phone numbers were cut off because "their baby recked their phones" and we desperately needed to get in contact so we knew what the hell was going on and to let them know we were gonna start looking now.
So after many hours of asking various people if they knew where the hell they were, I finally found a girl who knew someone that might have their phone number and luckily they did.
So Daniel called them last night and the girl answers with some lame excuse why they haven't called us (calling takes 2 fucking minutes!!). Daniel then says we're gonna start looking and applying for houses now, and she awkwardly lets him know that they actually don't need to get a house with us anymore because Harrison's Community Services found them a house last week and they've decided to move to SYDNEY in a few weeks time anyway!

YEAH.. Great.. Thanks for letting us know!

So then I started freaking out because I don't want to live in another crappy studio again and that's all we can afford by ourselves. I was so looking forward to living with another couple. I wouldn't be so lonely during the day, and we would end up saving shitloads of money.

Then I started thinking about every other crappy thing that every other friend I've ever had has done to me.. and the list just went on and on.
I got depressed because, though these days I've only got the one friend (who has been my best friend for the past 4 years), I still don't get treated with the kindness or respect that I treat her with.
Little things that I do for her (such as making her a handmade card to give to her in hospital, spending 50 dollars on presents for her and her bub when that was the only money we had left and we would be doing it tough for the next week, or making her feel better about that low-life horrible partner she's got and telling her what she wants to hear, and even just calling her every few days to see how she is) makes me realize that she would never do the same back for me.
She wasn't even there after I gave birth to Ascari. She wasn't there all through my pregnancy. She never calls just to see how I am. Every time I try and talk about myself or my family, I get cut off. And even now, after he has fathered my child and done everything to show that he is such a wonderful dad and provider, she still says nasty things about Daniel and tells me I should "cheat on him so he realizes you're too good for him".

And when I think about the things that she would never do for me, it gets me to thinking that my whole has been like that. I have never had a proper true friend. It's always been one-sided.
And then when I thought about that, it got me realizing that I probably never will.

I cried for hours in bed.
Daniel kept falling asleep which made me cry more.

That's all.

Just had to get it all off my chest.

Apr. 6th, 2009

Sinead and Arrowne

I met little Arrowne yesterday in the hospital. He is soo tiny.. I cant believe a baby can be that small and still be okay. He is like half the size Ascari was when she was born. I've never seen a baby so tiny.
I was actually scared to hold him because I thought I would hurt him. And he weighs nothing! He was wrapped in blankets and it felt like I was only holding a blanket, that's how little he weighs.

He looks exactly like Dante and he even sleeps with his mouth open like Dante does lol. He kept snorting while he was having his little doggy dreams while I was holding him.
I miss Ascari having her doggy dreams. I just miss Ascari being a little baby! Ahh.. :(

I feel terrible for Sinead though. Everything went wrong for her during the labour and after.
She had severe pre-eclampsia and could have died.
She had to get a cathedar put in before she had the epidural and it hurt like hell for her and still does even though it's out now.
She is so puffed up still. She looks huge! I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her. Even her feet were puffed up and were massive! She looked like a giant.
And she is still shaking uncontrollably because they had to give her magnesium to stop seizures because of the pre-eclampsia. It'll only wear off once it's all out of her system. It's looks really scary. It actually looks like she is seizing. 
And she had absolutely no energy. She can even walk by herself still without falling over. Her mum had to shower her and help her pee.

It was great seeing her though. It freaked me out a little though. I already have a massive fear of hospitals so it made me really nervous seeing her like that. My heart was facing the whole time.

I think I may go see her again tomorrow though. She'll be in till Wednesday I think it was and I have to see little Arrowne again. He's so precious :)

Apr. 5th, 2009


My best friend had her baby boy at 5.30 yesterday afternoon!
Arrowne William Hope.

She was in labour for about 24 hours and pushed her 45 mins.

We're going in to visit her today. We bought her some baby clothes (a little Aussie jumpsuit and some other shorts and t's) and I bought her a nice top and some choccies :)

So exciting!

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April 2009



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